Am I an Alcoholic? Honest Questions

If you are reading this, there is a good chance something has been bothering you about your drinking. Maybe someone said something. Maybe you woke up and couldn't remember the end of the night. Maybe nothing dramatic has happened at all, and you just have a quiet feeling that alcohol has more of a hold on you than you'd like.

That feeling is worth paying attention to. People who don't have a problem with alcohol rarely search for this question.

There is no blood test or scan that tells you whether you are an alcoholic. In AA, the word is something each person decides for themselves. Doctors use a different term, alcohol use disorder, and diagnose it on a range from mild to severe. Either way, the answer starts with honest questions, not with a label someone else hands you.

What "Alcoholic" Means (and What It Doesn't)

Many people picture an alcoholic as someone who has lost everything: the job, the family, the house. That picture keeps a lot of people drinking for years longer than they need to, because they can always point to someone worse off.

In practice, the people in AA meetings come from every walk of life. Some drank every day. Some only drank on weekends but couldn't stop once they started. Some never got a DUI or missed a day of work. What they tend to share is not how much they drank, but what happened when they drank and what happened when they tried to stop.

Two patterns come up again and again:

• Loss of control once drinking starts. You plan to have two and end up having eight. Not every time, but often enough that you can't predict how a night will go.
• Going back to drinking despite good reasons to stop. You promise yourself you're done, mean it, and find yourself drinking again within days or weeks.

If either of those sounds familiar, you are not alone, and you are not a bad person. These are the core features of a problem that millions of people have recovered from.

Honest Questions to Ask Yourself

Read these slowly. You don't need to share your answers with anyone right now. The only person you need to be honest with today is yourself.

About control

• Do you often drink more, or for longer, than you meant to?
• Have you tried to cut down or set rules for yourself (only beer, only weekends, never before 5 p.m.) and found you couldn't stick to them?
• Once you have one drink, is it hard to stop?

About consequences

• Has drinking caused problems at home, at work, or with money, and you kept drinking anyway?
• Have you driven after drinking, or done other things that put you or others at risk?
• Have you had blackouts, where you can't remember parts of the night?
• Has a doctor told you that alcohol is affecting your health?

About how much space alcohol takes up

• Do you think about drinking a lot, plan around it, or feel uneasy when alcohol isn't available?
• Have you given up activities you used to enjoy because they didn't involve drinking?
• Do you need more alcohol than you used to in order to feel the effect?

About hiding and defending

• Do you hide how much you drink, or drink before going out so others won't notice?
• Do you get defensive or angry when someone mentions your drinking?
• Do you feel guilt or shame about your drinking the next day?

About your body

• When you stop drinking for a day or two, do you get shaky, sweaty, anxious, sick to your stomach, or unable to sleep?
• Do you drink in the morning, or to steady yourself?

There is no official cutoff score here. But if you found yourself answering yes to several of these, or wincing at a few of them, that is important information. Doctors who diagnose alcohol use disorder look at questions very much like these, and having just two or three of these patterns over the past year can count as a mild disorder.

The Experiment Many People Try

Some people in AA suggest a simple test: try to have no more than one or two drinks, every time you drink, for a few months. Not fewer occasions, but a firm limit each time. Another version is to stop completely for 30 days and notice how hard it is.

People without a drinking problem usually find these easy and a bit boring. People with a problem often find they can't do it, or they can do it only with constant effort and white knuckles, counting down the days until they can drink normally again. Either result tells you something.

Common Ways We Talk Ourselves Out of It

Almost everyone who ends up in recovery spent time arguing with themselves first. Some of the most common arguments:

• "I only drink beer" or "I only drink wine." A standard drink of beer, wine, or liquor contains about the same amount of alcohol. The type doesn't change what's happening.
• "I still go to work." Many people with serious drinking problems keep their jobs for years. Showing up to work is not the test.
• "I can stop whenever I want." If that's true, it's worth asking why you haven't, given the reasons you have to.
• "I'm not as bad as..." There will always be someone worse. Comparing ourselves to them is one of the main ways people stay stuck.
• "Everyone I know drinks like this." Sometimes we choose friends and places where our drinking looks normal.

What to Do If You Think You Might Have a Problem

You don't have to decide today whether you are an alcoholic. You only have to decide what you'll do next. Here are some low-pressure places to start:

1. Talk to a doctor. Your primary care doctor can talk through your drinking privately, check your health, and help you stop safely. There are also medications that reduce cravings, and a doctor can tell you if one is right for you.
2. Go to an open AA meeting and just listen. Open meetings welcome anyone, including people who aren't sure they belong. You don't have to say anything. See our guide to what to expect at your first AA meeting.
3. Tell one person. A friend, a family member, or a counselor. Saying it out loud often makes it more real, and less frightening.
4. Call the SAMHSA helpline. 1-800-662-4357 is free, confidential, and open 24 hours a day. They can point you to treatment and support near you.
5. Write it down. Write honestly about your last few months of drinking: what you planned, what happened, how you felt. Reading it back can be clarifying.

If You're Asking for Someone Else

If you're worried about someone you love, you can't answer this question for them, and pushing a label on someone usually makes them dig in. What you can do is tell them, calmly and specifically, what you've seen and how it affects you, and take care of yourself. Al-Anon is a support group for family and friends of people who drink, and many people find it helps even when the drinker isn't ready to change.

Common Questions