Steps 2 and 3: Coming to Believe

Step One is about the problem: admitting that alcohol had more power over us than we could manage. Steps Two and Three are about the solution. They're often called the "faith" Steps, and for that reason they're the place where many newcomers get nervous, especially people who aren't religious or who had painful experiences with religion.

The good news is that these Steps ask for far less than people fear. Neither one requires you to sign on to a particular belief. They ask for hope and willingness, and most people start with very small amounts of both. If you haven't read it yet, our guide to the First Step sets the stage for what follows.

Step Two: Came to Believe

Look closely at the wording. It says came to believe, which describes a process, not a single moment. It says a Power greater than ourselves, which leaves the definition open. And it says could restore us, which is a statement of possibility, not a guarantee you have to accept on day one.

What "sanity" means here

The word sanity puts some people off, since most people in AA wouldn't describe themselves as insane. In the context of the Steps, it usually refers to the pattern so many of us lived: drinking again after swearing we were done, expecting things to go differently this time, and being surprised when they didn't. Restoring sanity means getting back to clear thinking about alcohol, where the first drink no longer looks like a good idea.

What "a Power greater than ourselves" can mean

AA deliberately leaves this open. Members describe their higher power in many ways:

• God as understood by their own faith tradition
• A spiritual force or presence they can't name
• The AA group itself, which can do together what no single member could do alone
• The program and its principles
• Nature, the universe, or simply love and goodness

Some people joke that "GOD" can stand for "Group of Drunks" or "Good Orderly Direction." The point is that your own willpower, used alone, didn't solve the problem. Step Two asks whether you're open to the idea that something beyond it could help.

How people come to believe

For most members, belief grows from evidence. You sit in meetings and see people who drank the way you did, now sober and at peace. You hear stories that sound like yours, with better endings. You notice that on days you go to a meeting and call someone, staying sober is easier. That evidence builds, little by little, into hope.

Step Three: Made a Decision

Step Three moves from belief to action, but notice what the action is: a decision. Not a complete transformation. Not perfect trust. Just a decision to try living a different way, with help, instead of running everything on our own power.

Will and life

Our will is our thinking and decisions. Our life is our actions. Many of us spent years insisting that everything go our way and trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. Step Three asks us to loosen that grip. In everyday terms, it often looks like doing the next right thing and letting go of how it all turns out.

"As we understood Him"

This phrase is the heart of Step Three's openness. It means nobody gets to define your higher power for you. Atheist and agnostic members often understand Step Three as a decision to follow the program's suggestions, listen to their sponsor, and trust the collective experience of the group, instead of their own old thinking.

Why it's a decision, made again and again

Many members say they make the Third Step decision every morning. Some say a short prayer. Others simply remind themselves, "I'll do my part today and let go of the rest." Self-will tends to creep back in, so the decision gets renewed. That isn't failure. It's the practice.

Working Steps Two and Three in Practice

Your sponsor may suggest a specific approach, and it's worth following their lead. Here are some ways people commonly work these Steps:

1. Read about them. The chapter "We Agnostics" in the Big Book speaks directly to people who struggle with belief, and the essays on Steps Two and Three in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions are short and practical.
2. Write your own description of a higher power. What qualities would a power that helps you stay sober have? Many people find it's loving, patient, and on their side, not the punishing figure they were afraid of.
3. List the evidence. Write down what you've seen in meetings and in your own life that suggests recovery is possible.
4. Talk about your doubts. Bring them to your sponsor or a meeting. You'll find you're far from the only one.
5. Make the decision out loud. Many people say the Third Step prayer from the Big Book with their sponsor. Others put the decision in their own words. What matters is that it's sincere.
6. Move on to Step Four. The Big Book makes clear that the decision in Step Three only works if it's followed by action, starting with an honest inventory. Our guide to writing a Fourth Step inventory shows how.

When You Don't Believe Anything Yet

If you're reading this and feeling stuck because you don't believe in God, or anything at all, you're in good company. Many long-sober members came in exactly that way. A few suggestions that often help:

• Start with what you can accept: that the group knows more about staying sober than you do alone.
• Be willing to believe, even if you don't yet. Willingness is enough to begin.
• Try a secular or agnostic AA meeting, if there's one near you or online.
• Keep showing up. Belief, for many people, followed action rather than preceding it.

Common Questions