What to Expect at Your First AA Meeting

Almost everyone in AA remembers their first meeting. Many remember sitting in the car outside for a long time before going in. Some drove past the building more than once. If you feel nervous, that's completely normal, and the people in the room have felt exactly the same way.

This guide walks through what usually happens at an AA meeting, what's expected of you (very little), and some practical tips for making that first visit easier.

Before You Go

Finding a meeting

The easiest ways to find a meeting are the free Meeting Guide app, made by AA, or the "Find AA Near You" page on aa.org, which links to local AA offices. Local listings usually show the day, time, address, and a few letters describing the type of meeting.

For a first meeting, look for one marked open (anyone can attend, including people who are just curious) or beginners. Our guide to types of AA meetings explains the codes and formats in more detail.

Practical details

• Arrive five or ten minutes early. It gives you time to find the room, which is often in a church basement, community center, or clubhouse, and grab a seat.
• Bring nothing. You don't need paperwork, ID, or money.
• Dress however you like. You'll see suits, scrubs, and sweatpants in the same room.
• Expect about an hour. Most meetings last 60 minutes. Some run 90.

What Happens at a Typical Meeting

Every AA group runs its own meetings, so details vary. But most follow a similar pattern.

What You Do (and Don't) Have to Do

The short answer is that you don't have to do anything except show up.

• You don't have to speak. If you're called on in a discussion meeting, you can say "I'll pass" or "I'll just listen tonight." That's completely accepted.
• You don't have to say you're an alcoholic. People often introduce themselves as "[name], alcoholic," but you don't have to use the word. AA's only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
• You don't have to sign up for anything. There is no membership list, no fees, and no form to fill out.
• You don't have to believe in God. You'll hear the word, and some meetings close with a prayer. Many members are agnostic or atheist and find their own way to work the program.
• You don't have to come back. Though most people suggest trying at least six different meetings before deciding.

Meeting Etiquette Worth Knowing

A few unwritten rules help meetings feel safe for everyone:

• Anonymity. Who you see and what you hear at a meeting stays there. Don't share other people's names or stories outside the room.
• No crosstalk. In most discussion meetings, people don't respond directly to each other's shares, give advice, or interrupt. Everyone speaks to the group.
• Keep shares about your own experience. Members talk about what happened to them and what helped, rather than lecturing.
• Phones on silent. Simple courtesy goes a long way.
• Come sober if you can. If you've been drinking, you're still welcome to sit and listen, as long as you aren't disruptive.

How You Might Feel

First meetings bring up all kinds of reactions. Some people feel an enormous sense of relief, as if someone is telling their story. Others feel out of place, or notice all the ways they're different from the people sharing. Some cry. Some feel nothing at all and wonder what the fuss is about.

All of that is normal. A common suggestion in AA is to listen for the similarities, not the differences. You might not have lost what the speaker lost, but you may recognize the feeling of promising yourself you'd stop and not being able to.

After the Meeting

If you feel up to it, stay a few minutes afterward. People often hand newcomers a list of phone numbers, or offer their own. You don't have to call anyone yet, but keeping the numbers is a good idea. Some people find it easier to talk one on one than in the group.

Many groups also have free literature on a table near the door. A good place to start is a small pamphlet for newcomers, or the Big Book itself. Our guide to the Big Book of AA explains what's in it.

What If I Hated It?

Not every meeting is a good fit. Each group has its own personality. Some are large and lively, others small and quiet. Some lean heavily on the Big Book, others are more casual. Meetings for women, men, young people, LGBTQ members, and people who speak other languages are common in many areas.

If your first meeting didn't feel right, try a different one before deciding AA isn't for you. Many people visit several groups before finding one that feels like home.

Common Questions