One question, a short reflection, and one thing to practice, for every day of August. This month centers on Step Eight: relationships and willingness.
Read today's, or read ahead. Many people use these in the morning, before the day gets loud, and come back to the question at night. Each day stands on its own, so you can start anywhere.
Who belongs on my list?
Step Eight asks us to make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all. The list often starts with the people closest to us: family, partners, friends, coworkers. Making the list is not the same as making amends. For now, we're simply writing names down and being honest about the harm we caused.
Today's practice: Start your Eighth Step list with three names.
What does harm look like beyond the obvious?
Harm isn't only the dramatic moments. It includes broken promises, missed events, emotional absence, money borrowed and never repaid, and the worry we caused. Many people find their list grows as they look more closely. That's not meant to overwhelm us. It's meant to help us see the full picture so we can begin to repair it.
Today's practice: Think of one person and write down a less obvious way your drinking affected them.
Can I become willing without having to act right away?
Step Eight is about willingness. We don't have to make any amends yet. We only have to become willing. That's an important distinction, because the idea of facing everyone at once can feel impossible. Willingness can start small and grow. Many people find their willingness increases as they continue working the program.
Today's practice: Choose one name on your list and ask yourself how willing you are, on a scale of one to ten.
Do I belong on my own list?
Many people in recovery add themselves to their Eighth Step list. Drinking harmed our health, our finances, our self-respect, and our potential. Acknowledging the harm we've done to ourselves isn't self-pity. It's honesty. And it reminds us that part of making amends is learning to treat ourselves better going forward.
Today's practice: Write down one way you harmed yourself while drinking.
Can I focus on my part, even when others hurt me too?
When we make our list, it's tempting to think about what others did to us. Some people really did hurt us. But Step Eight focuses on our part. We're not excusing anyone else's behavior. We're simply cleaning up our side of the street. That focus keeps us out of resentment and gives us something we can actually change.
Today's practice: When you think of someone who hurt you, ask yourself whether you also owe them anything.
Which name on my list scares me most?
Some names on the list bring up real fear. We may worry about anger, rejection, or reopening old wounds. These fears are normal. Talking them through with a sponsor helps. Remember that Step Eight is only about becoming willing. The fear doesn't have to be gone before we start. It just can't be in charge.
Today's practice: Name the person you're most afraid to face and share that fear with your sponsor.
Which relationship do I most want to heal?
Many people come into recovery with damaged relationships. Some may never be repaired. Others can be. Step Eight gives us a chance to look at our relationships honestly and think about what repair might look like. Even when full reconciliation isn't possible, doing our part can bring peace.
Today's practice: Think about one relationship you'd most like to heal and what that might look like.
Am I rushing to fix things before I'm ready?
Some people want to rush through amends to relieve their guilt. But rushing can cause more harm. Step Eight gives us time to think carefully about who we've harmed and how. Working with a sponsor helps us avoid making amends that are really about easing our own discomfort rather than repairing the harm we caused.
Today's practice: Before acting on any amends, talk it through with your sponsor.
Who was affected by my drinking that I haven't considered?
Drinking affects more people than we usually realize. Children, coworkers, neighbors, friends of friends. Some were directly hurt. Others carried worry or picked up our slack. Thinking about the ripple effect helps us see the full impact of our drinking. It also helps us see how much good our recovery can do.
Today's practice: Think about someone indirectly affected by your drinking.
How can I treat people better today?
Even before we make formal amends, we can start making living amends. That means changing how we treat people now. Showing up when we say we will. Being honest. Listening. Being patient. These changes are often the most meaningful amends of all, because they show, rather than tell, that we've changed.
Today's practice: Do one thing today that shows someone on your list that you've changed.
What wounds of my own show up as I make this list?
Making an Eighth Step list can stir up our own pain. We may remember times we were hurt, often by the same people we harmed. That's normal. It's important to acknowledge our own wounds without letting them excuse our behavior. Talking about both sides with a sponsor helps us keep perspective.
Today's practice: If old pain comes up today, share it with someone instead of carrying it alone.
Is there someone I need to forgive before I can become willing?
Sometimes resentment blocks willingness. If we're still angry at someone, it's hard to think about making amends to them. Forgiveness doesn't mean excusing what happened. It means letting go of the anger that's hurting us. For many people, forgiveness comes gradually, through prayer, conversation, and time.
Today's practice: Think of one person you're struggling to forgive and ask for willingness.
How has my drinking affected my family?
Families often carry the deepest effects of drinking. Spouses, parents, and children may have lived with fear, disappointment, and instability for years. Many family members find support in Al-Anon or Alateen. Recognizing the harm done to family is painful, but it's also the first step toward rebuilding trust at home.
Today's practice: Write one honest sentence about how your drinking affected your family.
If I'm a parent, how can I show my children I've changed?
Parents in recovery often carry heavy guilt about how their drinking affected their children. That guilt is understandable. But children usually benefit most from consistency: a parent who shows up sober, keeps promises, and is present. Over time, those living amends speak louder than any apology.
Today's practice: If you have children, spend focused time with them today.
How am I taking care of myself while doing this work?
Step Eight can be emotionally heavy. It's important to keep up with self-care: meetings, rest, healthy food, exercise, and time with supportive people. This work isn't meant to be done while running on empty. Taking care of ourselves gives us the strength to face the harder parts of recovery.
Today's practice: Do one thing today purely to care for yourself.
How did my drinking affect my work?
Many people find coworkers and employers on their list. Missed days, poor performance, broken trust, and covering for us all count. Making amends at work can look different from personal amends. Sometimes it's a direct conversation. Sometimes it's simply becoming a reliable, honest employee. A sponsor can help sort out what's appropriate.
Today's practice: Think about how your drinking affected someone at work.
Has my willingness grown since I started this list?
Willingness often grows as we work on Step Eight. A name that once felt impossible may start to feel approachable. That growth comes from continued work, prayer, and talking with others who've done it. Noticing that growth encourages us to keep going.
Today's practice: Look at your list again and notice whether your willingness has changed.
Do I owe anyone money?
Financial harm is common in drinking. Borrowed money, unpaid bills, theft, or money spent on alcohol instead of family needs. Including financial harm on our list is part of honesty. Repaying debts may take time, but becoming willing is the first step. Many people set up small payment plans as part of their amends.
Today's practice: Write down any money you owe and to whom.
Where will I find the courage to face this?
Making amends requires courage. Step Eight helps us build it gradually by becoming willing first. Courage often comes from seeing others do it, from talking with our sponsor, and from trusting that the process works. Many people say making amends was frightening beforehand and freeing afterward.
Today's practice: Ask someone in recovery about an amends that went better than they expected.
Who am I avoiding because of how I acted?
Avoidance is a sign that something unresolved sits between us and someone else. We may cross the street, skip events, or ignore calls. Those people likely belong on our list. Becoming willing to face them doesn't mean we have to rush. It means we stop running.
Today's practice: Notice who you're avoiding, and add them to your list if they're not already there.
Can I accept that some relationships may not heal?
Not every relationship will be repaired. Some people may not want contact. Others may not be ready. Some may have died. Step Eight asks us to become willing, but we can't control how others respond. Accepting that reality, while still doing our part, is part of the work. Peace can come even when reconciliation doesn't.
Today's practice: Think of a relationship that may not heal, and consider what peace might look like anyway.
How is my family handling this time of year?
Late August often brings back-to-school stress. Schedules change, expenses rise, and family routines shift. For parents in recovery, this season can be a chance to show up in new ways: attending school events sober, helping with homework, being present. These ordinary moments are part of living amends.
Today's practice: Show up for one family responsibility today with full attention.
Do I know exactly what harm I caused each person?
A vague sense of guilt isn't enough for Step Eight. It helps to be specific about the harm we caused each person. That specificity prepares us for Step Nine, when we'll make direct amends. Being clear about what we did makes our amends more sincere and more useful.
Today's practice: Choose one name and write down specifically what harm you caused.
Am I making amends to get something back?
Sometimes we hope that making amends will restore a relationship, earn forgiveness, or make us feel better. Those things may happen, but they're not the goal. The goal is to clean up our side and become people who don't cause the same harm again. Letting go of expected outcomes keeps our amends sincere.
Today's practice: Think about what you're hoping for from an amends, and let that hope go.
What kind of person do I want to be in my relationships?
Step Eight isn't only about the past. It's also about the future. As we look at the harm we caused, we start to see what kind of person we want to become. That vision helps guide our choices going forward. It gives our amends meaning beyond simply apologizing.
Today's practice: Write a few sentences about the kind of friend, partner, or family member you want to be.
Have I gone over my list with my sponsor?
Going over your Eighth Step list with a sponsor is important. They can help you see harms you've missed, sort out which amends might cause more harm, and prepare you for the next step. Their experience helps keep the process grounded and safe.
Today's practice: Schedule a time to go over your list with your sponsor.
Am I ready to stop carrying guilt and start making it right?
Guilt can be useful when it leads to change. But carrying guilt forever without action keeps us stuck. Step Eight turns guilt into willingness, and Step Nine turns willingness into action. That process helps release the guilt we've been carrying, sometimes for years.
Today's practice: Write down one piece of guilt you're ready to turn into action.
What patterns in my relationships do I want to change?
Looking at our list often shows patterns: we harmed people in similar ways, again and again. Recognizing those patterns helps us avoid repeating them. Amends are more meaningful when they come with real change in how we treat people.
Today's practice: Identify one relationship pattern you want to change going forward.
Who has given me a second chance?
Many people in recovery have been given second chances: by family, friends, employers, or the program itself. Remembering those second chances keeps us humble and grateful. It also inspires us to give others the same grace when they fall short.
Today's practice: Thank someone who gave you a second chance.
How do I feel about moving toward amends?
As August ends, many people feel a mix of fear and readiness about Step Nine. That's normal. The work of Step Eight, listing harms and becoming willing, prepares us for what comes next. Trust the process and lean on support. You don't have to face anything alone.
Today's practice: Write one sentence about how you feel about making amends.
Am I willing to make things right, as far as I can?
August's focus on relationships and willingness leads to September's Ninth Step: making direct amends wherever possible, except when doing so would cause harm. It's a powerful step. September is also National Recovery Month, a fitting time to take action that repairs the past and builds a better future.
Today's practice: Choose one name on your list to start with next month.
These reflections are for inspiration and support, not medical advice or a substitute for a sponsor, a meeting, or professional care. They are original writing and are not taken from AA's Daily Reflections book. If you are in crisis, call or text 988.